Everyone tells you to be a man, but what the f*** does that mean? There’s no ‘Book Of Man’ that declares ‘Thou shalt not wear womens’ underpants or some stuff, right?

We are born into the world and have to find our masculine way through it from scratch by watching lots of violent movies and suffering at the end of Dad’s belt.

But after we go about learning all this there’s no gifting of an honorary power tool to let you know you’ve done good. No one pats you on the back at a celebration to your manliness.

We know what you’ve been through. We know that you don’t get the recognition you deserve for the things you do every day. In fact, your own girlfriend/fiancée/wife doesn’t even remotely appreciate the way you do you. But we do. So grab some dark liquor (NO ICE!!!) and sip away as you learn just how sweet the little things you do really are.

You hit on women

Girls love to get bent out of shape if ‘the wrong guy’ attempts to lay a little game on ‘em. What they don’t know is how hard it is to size up a woman, develop an angle and approach her with romantic intent without making her want to call the police. And she has no idea how much rejection we have to eat in order to get remotely good at that mess.

So don’t take it too personally when she gets a little bitchy towards your validation of her attractiveness. She just doesn’t understand the difficulty of the situation you have to undertake in pursuit of romance.

And no, we don’t want to be friends either. F*** that business.

You won’t cry

Sure, when you found out Uncle Phil died that kinda messed you up a little. But before you did any crying you separated yourself. Good. No one needs to see you cry. Not even your girl. She may say she wants you to, but she didn’t start dating you while you were bawling to a TGT track, right? Hold back those tears in pride.

Willing to fight

A woman may say that fighting is stupid, but check out an MMA event. Almost, if not more than half, of the spectators are females wearing high heels, lots of makeup and as few clothes as they can get away with. They like the idea of a strong man being able to defend himself more than you like to fulfill that role cuz, you know, pain hurts ‘n’ stuff.

But sign up for some jiu-jitsu classes in pride anyway knowing that the next time some dude puts the make on your female you can fold his kneecaps into his lower back and turn your girl on at the same time.

You don’t like to shop

Sometimes it’s cool to go check out things you are looking for, but only one particular store and only for a few minutes. After that, you buy, or not, and leave. Walking around, milling about is just an excuse to burn up time. Video game time. Sex time. Friends time. Home-fixing time. Screw that. Let her take her girlfriends instead.

Well…unless it’s lingerie shopping. That’s cool. Bonus points if she brings that one friend with the buttcheeks that swallow up thongs.