How Many is too many?
by J.Starr
I love this topic because, well my job is to write about what people don’t openly talk about. I have stated before that sometimes it is best to lie about the number of sexual partners that you have had in order to salvage another’s ego, and /or your own reputation. I stand by that statement, however, I have a few amendments to my own rule.
As discussed previuosly there are several reasons to lie; now lets talk about the reasons to tell the truth:
LIES SUCK
There is something about a lie that never goes away or that never quite sits right with people. We have all been caught in our own lies, and it is not a pretty picture. The more you lie, the more you have to lie to cover the original lie. One slip of tongue and your story can be exposed… Who wants that? So if you are in a situation where you want to be honest then you should be honest ( or as close to honest as possible). This means you will get as close to the actual truth as possibe.
ATTEMPT THE TRUTH
Let’s say the topic arises between you and a person you are dating regarding the number of guys you have had sex with. How you feel about him and the relationship would determine the validity of your response. For example, if you care enough about this person to be honest-ish for the sake of your own conscience and for the sake of not being caught in your lies, then you should be truthful (sorta).
If this is just a person you are dealing with then randomly just pick a # that you think he will be ok with. He/ She is unworthy of such classified information at this time. If they transition to a serious relationship then revisit the topic at a later date.
GUYS OK… GIRLS NOT OK
I’ve come to realization that no dude on this earth wants to think his girl was, is or ever will be a hoe. Reality is , there is a thing called the past . Unfortunately you can’t change that. You can only control the present and make goals for the future. That being said, it is more important what and who you are currently “doing” as opposed to who you did and when. Disclaimer: If you slept with someone’s relative or best friend you can pretty much cancel that.) So while it is never advisible to be running the streets crazy, screwing anything with legs, remember that there will always be consequences for your actions. You might one day have to talk about it. You may even feel bad about it and wish you can go back and erase a few off that list. But it won’t happen. Sorry! My friend just got married to a man who she knows had sex with like a gazillion women. I asked her if she was bothered, she actually said no, because out of the gazillion, the one he chose to settle down with is me. I smiled, because on the other side of town my homegirl was stresed about her dude asking her number. She wanted to be honest, but knew the truth ( a # over 50) would scare the “ish” out of him . This goes to show that for guys- a lot is ok , and for girls, ummm not so much. (technically)
So, my advise is… as with everything, play your cards right. Know who you are dealing with. Honesty is a privilege. If it comes back to haunt you and someone holds certain things against you, oh well it wasn’t meant to be in the first place. No one comes in a relationship with a clean slate. It is all about accepting what you chose to accept and what you can’t deal with you need to leave at the front door.
A man once told me “No matter what she has done , no chick better ever tell me she f*cked no more than 4 guys.” Really? I silentely prayed for this man as I knew that he would rather the lies. I wondered why he thought 4 was the magic number. And that lead me to think what is the actual magic number. I mean I know some fat busted chicks who have had their fair share, so to me that was just a strange choice in numbers. Besides everyone knows “Magic Numbers” are always odd numbers. Wink.
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