“After Timberlake got the album, he swung by the Myspace office, dropped it off, then bodyrolled rightthefuck out the front door”

We’re officially exactly a week from the release of Jay-Z‘s 12th solo album, Magna Carta Holy Grail, and today we get one hilariously candid review from the new MySpace, literally and physically via Justin Timberlake, and penned by Shea Serrano. Though the constructive criticism comes few and far in between Serrano’s parody, sometimes these are the most effective ways to review music, so enjoy. With no foreseeable single or video being released to the public over the next 7 days, MCHG will be here on July 4th. Check an excerpt below, and read the entire piece by clicking here.

-Khari Nixon (@KingVanGogh)

Track 2: “Heaven”
Jay-Z
Magna Carta Holy Grail

No joke: What happened here is Jesus is a big fan of Jay’s “22 Two’s,” right? And so one day Jesus was strolling around the Barclays Center listening to it on his iPhone. He bumped into Jay-Z coming out of an elevator. Jay was like, “What the fuck, bro,” and then smacked the phone out of his hand. Jesus was like, “Yo! You’re Jay-Z.” Jay was like, “Duh, n*gga.” Jesus was like, “Dudebros, for real, like, I’m totes your biggest fan. I keep trying to get my dad to call me Jay-C—like, the J for Jesus and the C for Christ, right—but he’s not into it. Whatever. Hey, check this out: [sings] ‘Ain’t no n*gga like the one I got, no one can fuck you beh-tur.’ Pretty good, right?” That’s when Jay-Z realized he was talking to Jesus. This song is about that. Jay does his old man staccato flow.