Is it safe to say that promiscuity in females is directly linked to the absence of father’s in their lives?

There is a reason for the behavior of today’s woman. The parents are getting younger, the lessons are being lost. But self love starts at home, its what your parents show you by their actions and what they teach you to always have right? So, with everything that society throws our way, shouldn’t we be safe from the pitfalls of it all if we as ladies are taught how to carry ourselves as women at home? Is it safe to blame our absent fathers for our shortcomings even as adults? If “daddy” provided everything that a man is suppose to provide for a woman, outside of the sexual, intimate aspect of the relationship, then shouldn’t we be well prepared to step out into the world and deal with whatever comes our way? Shouldn’t daddy prepare us for war? If a girls’ first love is her daddy, and there is no daddy to compare to, what is she to do? What happens when there is no daddy?

A woman is more likely to search for daddy in every man’s face to replace what we never had. HOWEVER, women who grow up with fathers also tend to date men, like their fathers, providing that he was half decent or had some good character traits. In either event, we take all of our father’s characteristics and we search for our “him,” as adults, day in and day out, in our dreams and even in our nightmares. Daddy… Some of us have never celebrated Father’s Day, never bought a card or a tie for our father. Some of us have NEVER even had the opportunity to say the word daddy, and our hunger just to utter the word “daddy,” alone has forced us out into the world, inadvertently attracting men that treat us like children and view us as lost, they guide us right and wrong and we don’t care, we just want someone to show us some attention… like a daddy should. But sadly enough, in some of these cases, the person who we cling to is the one that brings us down, abuses us, takes advantage of our wants and needs and uses it against us.

Is addressing your lover as “Daddy” a big deal? An “issue” that needs to be addressed? Is it that deep? Is it wrong? If it is wrong, then most women probably don’t care. They just want to belong and to feel the love of a man, and we simply want to be able to say the word, “daddy,” and have a man react, if in fact we grew up without one.

Now some men may take advantage of this while others can feel and see the void and in turn they show us the “father in them,” MEANING that they love us, nurture us, guide us the right way, raise us, helps us shake that void, helps us to deal with and be okay with the absence of daddy, not because THEY can take his place, but because as men they know and understand that the absence can either make or break a woman. And we reward him by calling him “Daddy.”

A lot of women are looking to be saved, but so many men were raised to disrespect women, nobody is willing to take the first step to respect one another and make families instead of just making babies and walking away. When a man comes across a “broken” woman or a woman that doesn’t respect her self, often more than not he takes advantage of her and adds to her lack of self-esteem by disrespecting her. But what about taking the time to build that woman up? Are men up to the job to father a woman because you understand her deepest desires and needs, or are you there to take advantage of her pain and turn your back on her like her father did?

Then you have women who call their man Daddy in bed. What’s the deal with that? Is it a big deal? Why the word “Daddy” in bed. Is it just a slang term or something else?

MY belief is that when a woman addresses a man as “Daddy,” its more than just a sexual thing, its a deep yearning for something way bigger than you…way bigger than she.

So I guess my question is, ladies, do you call your man Daddy? Do you think there is something wrong with addressing your man as Daddy? Men, would you be uncomfortable with your woman addressing you as Daddy from time to time? Is it just a word or something deeper?

-Ayana Ellis

Author and Deputy Editor of Don Diva Magazine

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