“The Tahiry Takeover” (Ex-Girlfriends Who Still Run Shit)

Now I know you all read my article “The Joseline Jux” in Issue 49 of Don Diva and you can also find it here.  For those of you who didn’t get a chance to read it, The Joseline Jux is basically about how the side bitch learned your man, earned your man and then snatched him from you! And why? Because (some) women with titles (wife, wifey, main chick whatever) feel entitled and therefore think they don’t have to do shit to keep their man (happy) once they have him. Now, though you can’t take something that doesn’t want to be taken, I do believe that if another woman sparks your man’s interest in ways that you don’t, can’t, or most importantly choose not to, he will eventually start making moves toward this other woman that’s catering to him, because he feels as if you don’t care enough to fight for him or keep him happy. And then here comes the side bitch slander but hell, if you drop a stack of hundreds on the floor and just stare at it instead of picking it up, and another woman comes along, you expect this bitch to stare at the stack too or pick it up and keep it moving? I’m just saying… but ain’t nobody got time for that. That’s old news.  The new shit now is the “Tahiry Takeover.” That’s right ladies listen up!

The Tahiry Takeover is about the Ex-girlfriend who still runs shit! And how??????? Now, of course I titled this after the relationship being displayed between rapper Joe Budden, his ex Tahiry and his new thing Kaylin on Love & Hip Hop New York.  But it’s not just them! This type of thing happens everywhere, every day but it’s being displayed on television for the world to see! I’m sure there are plenty of women at home watching that show, mad as hell that they are in that same predicament, probably hating Tahiry but why? Isn’t it your man’s place to protect you and your feelings?! OR is it the woman’s place to show respect to another woman’s relationship? Now in the words of Mister’s father from the Color Purple, “Celie, you has my sympathy. Ain’t many women allow they husband’s ho to lay up in they house.” Yes! Your ex can lie up in your man’s house, go on trips with him, come around when she damn well pleases and why is that? I’ma tell you why:

He is with you due to a circumstantial sicheeation see…..

He is with you because he can no longer be with her for whatever reason.  His ex has MIND CONTROL over him.  He was forced out of that relationship because of the depth, seriousness, craziness, dependency of that relationship.  It’s like being addicted to drugs almost.  In fact, it is drugs. You know you have to wean off of this shit because it’s so powerful and strong it’s taking over your life. The two of them are no good together but can’t be apart. He didn’t want to go, but he had to. He needed to prove a point to himself and to his ex that he could move on without her.  He had to prove to himself that as a man he was not dependent on that relationship/love/drug, so he forced himself into rehab and it was a struggle every day not to go back to her and she was on the other side of that wall, fighting that same fight. He moves on and part of his rehabilitation was to find someone new, start over and forget about her. In enters you….

You’re part of this man’s rehabilitation process and you don’t even know it!!!! But at some point he brings that ex-girls name up because he knows he is weak for her and he is giving you a subtle warning that this woman will somehow find her way into this relationship. Not because she is a ratchet, relentless home wrecker but because your man is weak for her and he’s going to leave the door cracked and then turn the other cheek and play the game as if he didn’t give her an entrance into  his life again.  And because of this behavior, the ex doesn’t care about the new girl and can you blame her? No you blame him! Ni**as know exactly what they’re doing!!!! They love this kind of shit… but they pretend they don’t.  They pretend that the ex is a nuisance, a pain in the ass, crazy, bitter, like they have nothing to do with her actions etc. Nah… that is not the case.

HOWEVER, The “Tahiry’s” of the world know good and damn well the position they hold with their “Joes.” They know that they hold the key to that secret place in that man’s life and that no other woman will EVER find that special place.  No other woman can compare in any way shape or form to her. She knows it and she has a certain kind of cockiness with her when it comes to your man. She has him wrapped around her finger tighter than mosquito pussy….

So “new girl” what do you do? Its like your up against TWO people! The man you love who’s being totally passive aggressive with you and his ex who’s giving out kanye shrugs throughout this entire ordeal.  So now, in enters your ego and pride as a woman because your man doesn’t have the guts or the strength to quit this drug.  He’ll put on one hell of a show though to make you feel good because he needs you to stand on the front line and risk getting disrespected, slapped, cursed out by the Tahiry’s of the world, he puts you out there to handle this shit for him, making you feel as if the two of you are in this together on some Bonnie and Clyde shit!!!!

But the fact of the matter is, your man is a sucker and he’s putting you out there to do his dirty work because he can’t!!! He can’t face that woman and tell her to fuck off, leave me and my new girl alone, I don’t want anything to do with you, nah you crazy??? That’s his crutch, his go to girl, his love drug.  However, you’re on the front lines feeling as if you are defending your man and your relationship against this woman who “can’t let go,” when in fact it is your man that can’t let go.  But as a woman, you don’t want to believe that your man is closer, dependent, still in love with his ex.  Not when you’re the one laying in his bed every night.

The ex still runs shit because your man’s soul is still with her, his physical is just with you. Sort of like in death. His body is there but the soul is with a higher power. His ex. It’s simple. She has the power because HE GIVES IT TO HER.

So I say to you ladies/victims of the Tahiry Takeover. What do you do with a man who has an ex that you can’t help but to admit knowing that this is his soul mate? How do you cope knowing that even though the two of them may or may NOT be having sex, MENTALLY they are fucking each other, EMOTIONALLY they make love, and SPIRITUALLY they are man and wife? How can one deal with the Tahiry Takeover? Do you walk away? Do you stay? Do you give ultimatums? What do you do? It especially doesn’t help when your man’s ex got a body out of this world…. You know men are simple visual creatures…. Just saying.

My advice to the new girl is this.  In order to win somebody’s gotta lose… Don’t let it be you! Take that quote and do what you must with it… tuh

BE GREAT!

-ByAyanaEllis

 

The post The Tahiry Take Over appeared first on Don Diva Magazine.