You can tell a lot about a persons health by looking at their hair, skin and nails. But you can also tell alot about his hygeine by his linens. Can we talk about these men and their linens? Let us talk about visiting a man’s house and some of the things that turn us OFF shall we?

Now. I remember one time I went to this man’s house that I was dating. The first time I went an alarm went off. For one, it had a funny smell, like old shit. You know when you open that old ass closet in your grandfather house? It smelled like that. I wasn’t in love with it. But I said okay don’t be like that. He’s a man, buy that ni**a some Glade PlugIns and be great. But…. as the night went on, we go into his bedroom and what a sight!!!!!!!! Honey!  Now let me rewind and tell you that this man was fine, nice body all that. But honey, boo, those sheets were nappy as hell.

What are Nappy Sheets?

Nappy sheets are sheets that have a thread count of 400 and under. Once you wash them (too much) they get those hard ass lint balls, the quality fades and you might as well go to sleep on a some fly paper. He had nappy sheets. I was befuddled, appalled and said to myself, “I know he doesn’t think he’s getting some box from me…. on dem dere sheets at that.”  I didn’t want to be a bitch, so I gave him 2 more chances, and each time he had a different set of sheets, all three unappealing and nappy and not only that, he only had a fitted sheet on the bed, no pillows, nothing. LIke where was I at? the spot? a crack house? Either way, I was turned off.

Pissy Mattress Lookin

Not everyone can afford a $1,000 swedish mattress, but that doesnt mean you should lay a bitch down on no pissy ass mattress either. Ladies you know the mattress aint right if its colored and has flowers on it. This is a mattress he probably brought with him from childhood. The other side most likely has piss rings and possible dead rat droppings all over it.

Bathroom

Now the bathroom is where the story unfolds. If a man was dating a woman and he visited her and her toilet had rings, her tub had pube hairs in it and her sink was dirty? He’d diss that bitch fast and furious!!!! So its no different just because “Your a man.”  So you go use his bathroom that shit look like the Bates Motel. Its dark, smells like wet towels, one big ass man towel is hanging over the shower and it smells like hell, then you go to pee and he has a plastic cracked toilet seat all kinds of SARS and Asbestos and Syphillis is probably in those cracks. The seat is hanging a lil bit and there’s piss in the toilet. GIRL! No wipes for the ladies, and then you go to wash your hands and he has that struggle bar of soap on the sink, and what do you do? You drop it in the sink by accident because its not enough to really wash your hands but YOU KNOW you better wash your hands in this nasty shit but the soap falls and it melts, now you cant wash your hands right. And then you go to dry your hands and this negro got a dish towel with old spaghetti stains hanging up for you to dry your hands. GIRL!!!!!!!!

You still wanna date this nasty negro? Ugh

And if you do decide to give him some ass with your trifling self, how do you feel when he gives you a wash rag to wash up and its some discolored shit with bleach on it and its hard and stiff as hell! He probably cleaned the sink or his tims with that rag.

No ma’am.

A man’s linens says a lot about him. And how he prepares his home upon your visit says a lot about what he thinks of you!

So…Don’t be a Dumb Bitch. Keep your pussy off nappy sheets and hard ass washcloths. There is nothing grown, sexy, nice and appealing about that at all.

Its not about spending money, its about taking care of where you live and providing a nice aura not to mention AROMA for your female visitors.

PS For the well groomed, clean, brothers out there, here is a tip for to keep that special one coming back. Keep those soft scented plug-ins discreetly plugged in where she can’t see. We like soft vanilla, caramel smelling stuff, it makes us feel cozy. And for the bedroom, put dryer sheets in your pillow cases and under your fitted sheets. It keeps the linens smelling nice and that woman stuck in your bed all day.

In conclusion, Hygiene is everything and if he’s not taking care of the basics at home imagine the germs that dick is holding.. How he keeps his home is how he keeps his bone…jussayin…

 

BE GREAT!

-Ayana Ellis

Deputy Editor Of Don Diva Mag/AUTHOR

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